Lorem ipsum dolor

Friday, July 20, 2012

So This Is Goodbye...

Dear readers,

It’s been a while since I left the rock (as some might call Malta) and came back to Lithuania. So, basically, it is the end of our amazing misadventures in this small South European island. I won’t lie. It was a really long, hard and most of the time very disappointing 9 months full of boredom, weird people and anxiety. I was going to write a mean post, but these few weeks of my awesome summer holidays soften my heart a bit. So, I’m going to make a ‘thank you’ post instead.

First of all, I would like to thank all the Erasmus people who helped to get through the first semester. Thank you for the good laugh, crazy Paceville nights and for all the discussions we had during that time.

Thanks to my family, friends and my blog readers for having a patience to listen to all that bitching about my problems.

Also, big thanks to John Bonello and his mates who tried to make Erasmus life more entertaining. And, John, I’m still holding a grudge about that little lie of your South African roots.

Thanks to Skarklab Malta and Greg Nowell for making my life on the island fun and meaningful.

Of course thanks to University of Malta for helping me to understand what a great University I study in. After 9 months of pointless lectures and weird assignments I’ve learned how to appreciate the amazing quality of studies I receive at my University.

Thanks to all the Maltese people who never had an intention to make any connection with us. You really made me realize what a fantastic people I am surrounded with.

Thanks to the island of Malta for ruining my facial skin and never letting me to forget how freakishly I love mountains, forests, freshwater and cool climate.

But, seriously, it was a bumpy ride which I will never be able to forget. And I’m grateful for all the experience (doesn’t matter bad or good) I’ve gained.


Kisses and see you in the next life,
The bitchy one

Tuesday, May 8, 2012


Now we are completely used to find these guys --------------------------------->
crawling all over the house. But scorpions in the bedroom? I haven't seen any wild animal (apart from birds) in Malta and now creepiest ones decided to visit us personally?! Can't wait to find a tarantula on my pillow...

Monday, March 5, 2012

The most entertaining place in Malta

You probably still remember our little misadventures in Mater Dei hospital. So guess what? Yes, you are completely right, just few days ago we had another chance to admire amazing service at the Emergency. On Saturday we decided to make a short daytrip to Gnejna Bay. We climbed few rocky hills and were already heading towards Golden Bay  while my friend slipped on something similar to the wet gravel and fall into the bushes. When she stood up we noticed that some part of her wrist skin had been badly cut. So, we rushed to the hospital (of course it took one hour to get there, thank you, Arriva) cause we have suspected that her arm needs stitches. At the Emergency they wanted us to wait but my friend shouted that she is not going to bleed here and wants to see the doctor immediately. She was sent to the area 1 where they told her to wait at the Emergency hall for the announcement to go to the area 3. Here we painfully learned that my friend needs to wait at least three hours to get her arm stitched. Some swear words and loud dissatisfaction had followed. We left our friend at the Emergency and went home to get something to eat. When we came back we found our friend still waiting and playing Angry Birds on her phone. It was around 21 o’clock when the real fun began. They brought in a handcuffed guy who sat right next to me. I  looked at his guards and started doubting the possibility of the happy ending that day. One guy was extremely slim and old as the world and another one, in the army uniform, had some serious overweight issues. I looked again at the handcuffed guy and realized that he is pretty athletic and could easily outrun those two men and probably take me as his hostage. There was no time to think more on this matter cause really interesting things started happening around us. People began to flow in, to get registered and of course to go and find the place to wait. There were few people with high fever, horrible headaches, bleeding noses and one unconscious teenager in a wheelchair. We looked at him at asked each other: “Is he also going to wait?”. We had 
Meh, it's just a stroke, doctor will see you in 5 hours
suspected that he is completely drunk, but still needed to wait at least 20 minutes. Finally, after 3.5 hours of waiting my friend got called to see the doctor. I have volunteered to keep her company while her arm got stick with medical glue. It caused a lot of pain to her but it was still better than stitching it the old-fashioned way. So, the gluing was done, doctor invited one hospital volunteer to talk with us and started asking if my friend had all the necessary vaccinations when she was a kid. He started talking about some severe infections which can be fatal and lead to the amputation of the arm. I was listening to all those things and started feeling a pain in my stomach. I began suffocating and passed out for a few seconds while trying to sit on the hospital gurney. That volunteer kept my legs in the air while I got my consciousness back and started to laugh hysterically. Oh, the doctor failed to care at all about my dramatic fainting, he just continued writing down the necessary vaccinations. In the end we managed to leave area 3, but when we were going through the door, one man in the Emergency waiting hall passed out. Unfortunately, no one paid attention and just continued watching ‘Liar liar’ on the telly.  Finally, a nurse came and with no emotion on her face started slowly getting that unconscious men on the gurney. I can’t tell what happened next cause we were too happy to get out of the hospital. Conclusions? I definitely have no future in the medical field and we will probably be asked to give up our EU citizenship cause we are starting to cost too much for the European Union.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Stop killing us, Malta!!!

Everyone who had a pleasure to visit Malta agrees that traffic here is more than insane. Every day is a life risking experience trying to avoid speeding buses in narrow streets or suddenly stopping cars which start to drive backwards with no particular reason. And everything here is being followed by unbearable symphony of sounds caused by honking maniacs. This post is dedicated to my lovely friend who was hit by a car by one of those maniacs. No, she is not dead... Jezzzz, people…
This amazing story started not so long ago when my friend went for her shopping in Sliema. She was suppose to come back after few hours, but it was already 22 o’clock and we started to worry. Due to the fact that we are not mobile freaks and don’t need that thing stuck to our pockets, my friend left her phone at home. Around 23 o’clock a policeman came to our home saying that our friend got into an accident and that we need to go to the hospital. I have to mention that the policeman didn’t offered to drive us there, he just asked if we know where Mater Dei is. So, we ran into the hospital shouting at very sloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow staff and being freaked out by almost dying elderly people in the corridors. Finally, we found our friend who told us that she was crossing the street while a car appeared from nowhere and bumped into her. She hit her head pretty hard and lost consciousness for a moment. The funny thing was that it took around 15 minutes for ambulance to come, even though the accident happened 15 minutes away BY FOOT from the hospital. My friend had to shout few times at the hospital staff cause she was asking for some ice for her head but got one ice-cube instead. She was released the next morning but came back to the hospital the day after to get checked again. They told her to wait until her name will be announced. After 7 hours of waiting and failing to get checked she came back home. Applause for the efficient health care. BRAVO, Malta, BRAVO…

Wednesday, February 15, 2012


I’ve just thought that I have to share with you, my dear readers, this mornings’ conversation.
So, I was chatting with a new Erasmus girl on my course while my Maltese course-mate who was sitting nearby looked at me and asked:

- Are you a new Erasmus student, too?


- Ammm, I’ve been studying with you since the first semester. You haven’t noticed me, have you?


- Mmmm… no.

This is a person with whom I had 4 lectures per week last semester. Thank you for acknowledging my existence!

Monday, January 30, 2012

We’re Cold As Ice, We’re Willing To Sacrifice…Our Health

No Comments...
“I’m freezing my ass here, mum”
“Couldn’t sleep at night because I was shivering from the cold”
“Wait wait, can’t type now, my fingers have just froze up”

These are the usual phrases that make our friends and families raise their eyebrows and ask: “Where? In Malta?!”. Who could ever thought that winter in Malta is so unbearable and highly increased humidity and extremely cold houses will start slowly killing us. We came here with the intention to enjoy never-ending summer but what we got was sinusitis and clothes which completely dry in 5 days and have the stink of the wet dog.
Maltese houses just can’t heat up during the day and it’s no way for you to enjoy a warm night. Oh, hell, you can’t even enjoy a warm day inside. The most ironic moment was when my friend and I were sitting in the balcony, enjoying sun in our short sleeves and every time we wanted to go inside we had to put on some clothes. So, what’s wrong with these houses? The biggest problem is vents which are basically holes in walls sucking in cold air and not releasing it outside. We started stuffing those holes with towels, covering it with a plastic bag or duck tape. Nothing helped. At least now we can admire amazing flora and fauna growing on our bathroom ceiling.
Second attempt to get warm was switching on an ancient heater. It looks really pathetic and has a grill which heats up and starts threatening to burn your skin, your clothes and your house. Weeeell, I sincerely don’t think that those stone monsters burn…
Heaticus Sovieticus
Third thing which helps us to get some sleep at night was invented by my mum. And probably by many other mothers. Bless our amazing mothers! Without you we would freeze to death, use drugs and roll our eyes less… So the amazing thing is just a simple plastic bottle filled with hot water. Roll it in under your blanket and enjoy first warm 5 hours. The funniest thing is our little conversations in the morning when we discuss previous night and my friend usually tells us how she was hugging her plastic friend all night. 
You might think that our house is cursed or that we live in some kind of a shed where you can see sunset through your walls. Hell no! The same situation is at our University. Everyone sits with their coats, hats and mittens on. Come on, it’s not a first winter in Malta. Do something about the heaters! I remember one lecture when Maltese girl opened a window which caused a horrible draught directly to our necks. My friend turned around and asked her politely to close the window cause it’s getting extremely cold. That girl just looked at us and said that it’s too hot for her inside. Take one of your five jumpers, would you?!
So now we live with the hope that it’s going to get warmer in the middle of February and we will finally be able to take off our woolen socks. Cause, believe me, woolen socks and flip flops are far from couture.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

So this is Christmas...

Yes you are...Yes.You.Are...